First Line – Details in Black
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This is the how “Details in Black” opens. Opening with dialogue (or an internal thought) is a strong way to go, I think. I need to do it more often. Dialogue is more engaging than exposition, by a long stretch.
This first line contains two of the biggest elements of “Details in Black.” The narrator’s father (or at least his influence) plays a huge role in the story, and the idea that details matter is pivotal. There’s a girlfriend, too, and because this was specifically written for Lawrence Kelter’s Black Car Business anthology, there is most certainly a black car. In this case, it’s a 1961 Pontiac Bonneville.
I have to say, I like how this first line serves to set the theme and to lightly foreshadow. If you read the story, you’ll see that details do matter, and in a slew of different ways, to several different people: the narrator, his father, the cops….
As first lines goes, I think this is a good one. I’m going to give it an A-, though it’s probably a titch away from a B+.
You?
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“Details in Black” appeared in Volume 2 of Black Car Business, alongside some writers I’ve shared other collections with — Gary Ponzo, Ty Hutchison — and some new friends, too — Richie Narvaez, for one, who was kind enough to call out my story as one he enjoyed when I interviewed him for my podcast. Additionally, if you include Volume 1, there’s a slew of writers I’ve either worked with or admire, so I’m proud to have been part of this project.
Seriously, click on the link and check out those names!
Writing this story was a slightly different experience than the usual one. I wanted there to be significant detail to it, and the plot centered around the narrator completing the restoration of a classic car that was his father’s passion. I know very little about cars, so I knew I needed some help. Fortunately, my own father has always been heavily into cars. So I worked with him on selecting the right make and model for this story, as well as all the small details I needed to make the story work. I enjoyed working with him, and I think he dug the process as well.
Here’s what the car looks like, by the way:
The other thing about this story is that it marked a return to writing in the shorter form. Sure, this was about eleven thousand words, which isn’t exactly short. But compared to sixty to one hundred twenty thousand word novels, it is. I wrote a lot of short stories early in my career, especially from about 2004 to 2010 or so. But since then, almost everything I’ve written has been novel length. This story gave me the opportunity to get back to a particular kind of writing that I didn’t realize I missed. As a result, I’ve written a few more short stories since, and while none are of the flash fiction variety, it is still fun to write a complete tale in one or two (sometimes three) sittings.
Maybe a future First Line entry will feature one of those other stories….
Source: All The Madness In My Soul
