First Line – In the Cut

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With a new book announced (In the Cut), we get another edition of the First Line series of blog posts.

Rolling up on trouble shouldn’t feel so cold.

I actually like this as a first line. It let’s you know action is about to happen. And the element of cold works in a couple of ways — physically, and emotionally.

I don’t know that it is an A+ first line, but it’s in the A-/B+ range.

What do you say?


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In the Cut probably happened because I watched too much Sons of Anarchy years ago. Much like the mafia family, the group dynamics and the culture of an outlaw motorcycle gang holds some fascination for me. I don’t think I’m alone in that.

I started writing this as a complete stand alone. Then I decided to throw in a cameo by Jake Stankovic from At Their Own Game, essentially placing these two novels in the same world. That eventually led to realizing that there’d be two additional novels with this setting and that they should be branded together. That’s where the SpoCompton Series came into being.

Writing a novel can go a number of different ways where plot is concerned, at least for me (in my solo projects, that is — collaborations tend to be a little more structured by necessity). In the Cut was one that I had the narrative beats down pretty solid before I ever wrote this first line. I knew who Boone was (though he had a different name in the early draft), what his path would be, and how the book would end. That doesn’t always happen, for sure.

When it was finished, I gave it to my first readers, and most of them loved it. A couple even said it was the best book of mine that they’d read yet. But I wasn’t satisfied. Something was just a half bubble off, and I couldn’t quite tell what it was.

Enter my wife, Kristi. The talented first reader who pulls no punches and is frequently correct. She jokes that I never take her ideas (and she’s right that I sometimes fall back on author’s prerogative and don’t), but I always pay close attention to her feedback, and have made some pretty massive changes to books based on it.

She asked me an important question about this book that I wish I could share without spoiling the book for you. Actually she asked it about Boone, the main character. And since I don’t want to vague-book in a blog post, I’ll be more specific. She asked, “Why does Boone have to feel [emotion redacted: spoiler] about [person redacted: spoiler]? He should be focused one hundred percent on the club.”

It was a good question, and it opened up the character to me. I realized what the problem had been, and it was a fundamental one I should have figured out long ago — I didn’t know enough about WHO Boone really was. Who he is drives what he does, and that’s what was missing. His actions were fine, but they lacked the internal and external motivation I think they required to be….well, to be right. To not be a half-bubble off.

So I explored Boone. I figured out who he was. Kristi helped, and later, a discussion with Colin Conway finished the process. By the end, I knew exactly who Boone was, and exactly why he made all of the choices he did, and how he felt about them. 

I went back at the book and made some significant revisions to the relevant parts, and added what I needed to add. Then I sent it to a couple of readers who hadn’t read the first draft, to see if my changes worked. The feedback was positive, and when I shared what I’d changed with one of them, a frequent first reader, she did the email equivalent of wrinkling her nose and said, “Yeah, this way is much better.”

I think she’s right, just like Kristi had been. It was that clarity that I’d been missing, and when it clicked into place, I went from liking this book okay to loving it.

So the lessons are…

* Do a better job of knowing your protagonist before you call a book “done.”
* Listen to your first reader (Kristi, in my case) and those that follow.
* Have a good friend who is a writer to bounce things around with so that you get that perspective, too.

In the Cut will be out in January 2020. Don’t worry, it’ll be here before you know it.
Source: All The Madness In My Soul